JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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