I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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