I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize