you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize