he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize