I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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