the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She's the barista slut.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize