So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize