I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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