You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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