We should be called the Road Head Warriors
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize