It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize