Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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