Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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