I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize