Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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