Only a mothe r could love this liver
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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