I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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