Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize