You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
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When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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