i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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