New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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