if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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