fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
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Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
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No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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