we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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