Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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