All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize