it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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