worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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