Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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