Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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