Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
only you would photoshop your dick
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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