that's an acceptable place to lick
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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