Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
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Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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