My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize