You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
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Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
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I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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