I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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