it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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