Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
operation have a gay friend backfired
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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