More tranny stories later!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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