my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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