So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize