what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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