I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize