Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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