The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
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Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
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I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I enjoy the company of your penis
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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