i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
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dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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