When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
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Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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