so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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