sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize