I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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