I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
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